Upside down.

This weekend was most unexpectedly spent rereading an oft-ignored section of my bookshelf: Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. When I read them a few years ago I thought they were the greatest books ever written, and even though in the span of time since I had somewhat renounced nearly everything Rand wrote in favor of, the same thought has remained in the back of my mind:

The Cub Tracks 2001, the first issues of the Greyhound Express, the Jayhawker MMV and 06: They exist because of me. I made them possible. I did them because I looked at a blank sheet of paper and thought what could be. No other reason was needed.

Being at a crossroads in my academic & professional life, it was an almost mindblowing experience to reread the words of Howard Roark and Gail Wynand and Francisco d'Anconia this weekend (even if they are all bloated characters in very bloated books); it will take me some time to make sure I am comfortable with my political leanings (if I have any at all). I can state this: I have been done with the Democratic Party for a long long time; in fact, I may have never even started. Tom mentioned that he is a 'libertarian socialist' the other night on the phone, and I liked it at the time, but still have difficulty saying it with a straight face. It's a conflict for me: I agree with many facets of libertarianism, but I can't seem to shake my hope/belief that government can and should provide a safety net of such proportions as to make capitalism work even better. After all, "Free trade stops wars. And you figure out a way to fix the rest." All I know for now is that I want to go into publishing, and I want to do it as quickly as possible so that I can create, and edit, and earn money, so that I may live the life of unbridled joy and passion that I always wanted. To read Rand, no other reason is needed.

Other notes on the weekend:

• Had a great time Friday night with my friend Julie from the staff this summer, which continued through much of Saturday morning. In doing so, I made my first return appearence at Abe & Jake's Landing since the infamous 'Night of the passing out on the sidewalk before walking home in the darkness without getting run over and the next morning discovering a gash across my chin, the creation of which I'm still clueless about.' Needless to say, none of those things happened again.

• Wanted to study. Tried to study. Should have bloody well studied. But alas, it was of no use. I will go into my Feminist Theory midterm on Tuesday after half a semester of not taking notes. I know the theory, but there's so many names. Get used to this phrase: I've done graduated, suckas!

• Same goes for work on my Latin American conflicts paper; however, I will try hard on that because I might need a good recommendation from this instructor. In all liklihood I won't need it, but it never hurts to have a hyooge ex-marine who got his PhD in three years tell people that I'm his best student ever.

• Discovered the most incredible music in a long long time, and this includes Arcade Fire, Interpol, DJ Tiësto, and even The Decemberists. But I'm keeping it a secret, for only a select few as I deem worthy of listening to such sublime works of art. Or for whoever asks me.