Game theory.

So my dearest friend in the entire world has been going through a guy situation. I don't know the guy well, and I really don't care to. I just know that they have had quite a history for almost exactly a year now, and he's pissing me off even more with each passing day.

Basically, he comes across as your average emo guy, the one who wears his heart on his sleeve and then proceeds to tell you all about it. On his Myspace page. His blogs over the past few months have devolved into screeds about how good of a guy he is, and how that should be good enough for my friend, and she's just put him through the wringer, and he's tried to protect her and tried to be worthy of her religion and so on. I've pretty much heard the story from only her side, admittedly, but Myspace is a primary source, so I feel confident in my scholarly advice for this gentleman: Dude, grow a pair.

To be true, I myself have gone through the period of darkness that engulfs a man when he can't understand the realm of relationships. But the main thing that every guy in that situation has to do is to get past the 'magic formula' belief: that idea that as long as are you kind enough, and sweet enough, and buy dinner and pay attention to her birthday, that she should be falling all over you. It's called treating relationships as a checklist, and it doesn't work.

The simple truth is that girls suck. And guys suck. The only hope that any of us have is that we will know enough not to go into every mating ritual with a set definition of what constitutes a good and working relationship. Do you have to change who you are? Of course not. But a person is measured, and rightly so, by their actions; that's the manifestation of what's inside. I won't ever think that because I'm a caring, affectionate guy that I should get brownie points. At most that should earn a 'Good. Then you're off on the right foot.' This is the NFL, ladies and gentlemen, and if you're not willing to get your shirt dirty, then get out of the game.

Anyway, I just hope this guy will get the message and soon. My friend deserves to be able to concentrate on her new job and her sparkling, fabulous future without this guy popping up every other week or writing long messages to her that she'll never read on Myspace. Blogging is so emo.