The Best Line I've Ever Heard While Helping a Girl Walk Down a Street in New York City From One Bar to Another.

Tonight, on Amsterdam Ave:

*realizing that Ellen's knee is bleeding*
Ellen: Do you think they'll have a band-aid at the bar?
Ryan: Oh we can just get a bottle of vodka to disinfect it.
Marjorie: Yes, because we're stranded here on the Russian front.
Ryan: *doubled over in laughter*