Response.

Tonight, on the phone:

Lee: When you left Kansas, Ryan, everything really just fell apart. The heat wave, the crises at Duke TIP..
Ryan: It fell out of balance.
Lee: Exactly, the place is literally not the same without you.
Ryan: Dare I say, I disrupted the force?
Lee: Um, okay.

Lee: And I realized that this end of term report will probably be about 12 pages.
Ryan: You should do the entire thing as printouts of a Powerpoint presentation.
Lee: "This is how the hierarchy of Duke TIP Kansas handled this."
Ryan: And every third slide is an upside down smiley.
Lee: I should do the entire thing with emoticons like Jeremy last year.
Ryan: I don't know how to respond to that.
Lee: I've reduced you to one-word answers responses again, like 'Yeah' and 'Okay.'
Ryan: That should be the benchmark of all of our conversations.

Ryan: We have this job fair on Monday, which I don't have to worry about because of the Outside thing, but I'm still gonna go and hand out my resumé and meet these people.
Lee: That sounds good man.
Ryan: But I think I should use that quote from the Rocky Balboa trailer in my personal, 90sec. pitch.
Lee: Oh god.
Ryan: Like I'll hand them my resumé and then lean in and say "Let's start buildin' some hurtin' bombs!"
Lee: "So Ryan, how do you see the Columbia Publishing Course as building your career?" "I see it buildin' some hurtin' bombs!"
Ryan:I should bet people that for every recruiter I say that to, they owe me a slice of pizza.
Lee: You mean, the pizza larger than your head.
Ryan: I've actually started describing it another way. I measured it the last time I went, and then I measured the circumference of my skull, and the pizza could literally wrap around my head.
Lee: That's incredible!
Ryan: So what I want to do next time is take a sheet of tabloid sized paper and trace around it–
Lee: No, you get somebody to wrap it around your head and take a picture of it!
Ryan: Or I could just use the grease stain imprint on the paper, and anyway bring that paper back to Kansas and just unfold it and be like "Look at that you sons of bitches."
Lee: Show it to Papa Keno's and be like "That's how they do it in Fuckin' New York!"
Ryan: "And they don't slice it either; they serve that shit whole!"
Lee: God that's so huge.
Ryan: We had a guy who thought he could eat an entire jumbo pizza, of which these slices are 1/10th.
Lee: That cannot be possible.
Ryan: That's what I said, but I'd sure like to see him try.
Lee: Pull out 10 slices of pizza and say "Let's start buildin' some hurtin' bombs!"
Ryan: *literally falling down from laughter* That's going on the blog.

Ryan: It'd be really great if I had a copy of Wingman to peruse this week.
Lee: Someday, Ryan, someday it will become a reality.
Ryan: The best article idea we had, well not the best idea but the best execution, and I'll leave you with this for the evening, was about Asian fetishes.
Lee: Okay.
Ryan: The premise was a guy moving to Boston for college and soon dating only Asian women. And the tagline for the article was "Find out why this Caucasian will only put his cock in Asians."
Lee: *30 seconds of laughing* Now you've reduced me to one-word answers!
Ryan: I knew you'd appreciate that.
Lee: How do I respond!?