Sticks, Statham, and stereotypes.

Ryan: And apparently she said "She wasn't really interested in being a lesbian anyway."
Lee: That's one of the most amazing sentences I've ever heard. My friend Owen had a lifelong quest to find combinations of words that are just so absurd they're amazing, and my favorite was "There's something in the water in Britain that makes the men look like women, and the women look like horses." But "She wasn't really interested in being a lesbian anyway" is incredible.
Ryan: Speaking of the British, I was watching tennis earlier today, and Tim Henman was playing. He was returning serve, and he was bent at the knees, but not really, and he was hunched over a bit, but not really, and he had his racket straight out in front of him and I thought "He looks like he has a stick up his butt. Oh, he is British." Like "Yep, he's English! No doubt about that one!"
Lee: *laughing* Oh god.

Ryan: You know my favorite scene in the Transporter 2–
Lee: Careful Ryan. There are a lot of good scenes to choose from, so think about this before you commit yourself.

Lee: They have an infielder named Coco Crisp. I don't care anything else about the team at that point.
Ryan: And you could take a defibrillator to the game and hold up a sign saying 'David Ortiz, I got your back!' *laughing* 'Jason Statham said I could borrow it for the evening. Don't worry!'

Lee: I'm sure I can find some way to make money on the Nikkei while I'm in Japan.
Ryan: You take a bottle of Jack Daniel's and you say the magic word "karaoke."
Lee: I wouldn't mind being a professional karaoke singer in Japan. Oh god, you remember that band Mr. Big? They had that song, something like 'Hold on little girl'? They were an 80s hair band.
Ryan: Uh, no?
Lee: I can't remember the song! I had the CD Monster Ballads and I still can't remember it! Anyway, they were really bad. They were terrible, and they were hyooge in Japan. But I've got to have more talent than them.
Ryan: They're to Japan what Hasselhoff is to Germany! Holy crap, that's the effect of World War II on nations!
Both of us: They're– Ryan!– This is– Wait Ryan!– Lee!–
Lee: It's written into their constitution! When we occupied Japan and Germany, we mandated that they take our pop music refuse!
Ryan: You know what we have here, right? What we just discovered?
Lee: What?
Ryan: My doctoral dissertation in history!