Trifecta.

Tonight, on the phone:

Ryan: The guy said it was going to be $2200 to fix my car and I'm like "You're wrong. I have no mechanical training whatsoever and I can tell you you're wrong." And he says "No we have to make these repairs." "Okay, assuming for a second that you're right, which, of course, you aren't, but say you are, how long would it take to get it done?" He says "Five days, after I get the parts in. I'd have the parts for sure in a day. Two days tops." And I said "Okay stop."
Lee: Wow.
Ryan: So I called my parents and my dad called him back, and the guy kept going on and on about what he wanted do with the car and my dad literally laughed at him. The guy said he had to drill a hole in the bumper to examine the extent of the body damage, and he wanted to replace it. And my dad said to him "Buddy, I don't even care of it has a bumper. I just want my son to be able to drive it for the next two months."
Lee: Ryan, as far as I remember, you don't have boobs or long hair. This usually only happens to females who try to get their car fixed.
Ryan: I'm thinking they saw the Kansas license plates and thought "Oh, well they have to get back to Kansas, so we'll just charge fuck all."
Lee: As if anybody wants to go back to Kansas.

Lee: So really, in hours, what's the ratio of time you spend on the internet compared to actual work?
Ryan: How about in minutes? In minutes, I'd have to say 500 to 1. This past week, it was easily 500 to 1.
Lee: That's stunning.
Ryan: You want a little story? Yesterday the designer in the office was wondering if Mos Def had come out with a new album, and looking at the Borders across the parking lot through the window, I got up and said "I'll go check!" And went over there.
Lee: That story says that you have enough time that rather than do a two-minute Google search, you could go over to Borders and examine Mos Def's entire catalogue of work.
Ryan: And memorize every coffee drink on the menu at the café.

Ryan: So I was at work this–
Lee: Ryan, I'm sorry, but I have a problem with you saying "at work." You can say "at the office" or "at Borders", but I don't think you can utter the words "I was at work."
Ryan: Damn you that's going on the blog!

Ryan: The show is like Lost, only instead of being on an island, they're in the middle of a nuclear holocaust.
Lee: I read that book. It's called On the Beach.
Ryan: I saw that movie. It's called Red Dawn.
Lee: Hey, nice Swayze reference.
Ryan: *pauses pulling his clothes out of the laundromat dryer* You know he's got a new movie out?
Lee: Dear god. You know, I was at Blockbuster Video before I went to Massachusetts, and I saw a video there titled Roadhouse 2.
Ryan: Wait a minute, let me guess. Straight to video?
Lee: It has to be. We're talking Herbie: Fully Loaded quality of production here.
Ryan: But Lindsay Lohan has big boobs.
Lee: The verdict is still out on whether they're real. Did you see that Onion story this summer, of Jessica Simpson saying that her boobs need more attention, that they're in danger of going the way of Jessica Love Hewitt?
Ryan: But Jessica Simpson simply isn't at that level. She's not up there with them.
Lee: That's definitely true.
Ryan: See, this is why the podcast is going to succeed, because I don't even remember what we were talking about, but we've ended up–
Lee: We started with nuclear holocaust, then Patrick Swayze, then Roadhouse 2, then Lindsay Lohan, and then boobs. I have to believe that people are going to listen to the podcast.

Ryan: I'm so lost right now.
Lee: Oh, you're driving? Well doesn't every street just go in a circle anyway?
Ryan: Yeah, they go in semi-circles and diagonals, because somebody thought that was funny.
Lee: I just remember calling you back the other night and the first thing you said was "I hate this place."

Ryan: I got a pretty bitchin' car though from the rental place, a Dodge Charger, so instead of just errands this weekend, I might just go driving around for the hell of it.
Lee: You should drive to New York to interview for those jobs.
Ryan: Well the first 150mi. after I leave New Mexico *are* free.
Lee: How would they even know if you left the state? The streets go in circles so you could drive all weekend and get nowhere.